No one wanted to be the first one to go through the gate, as if we would never be able to leave after we took the first step. I think we all thought back to our first day of “prison training” when we warned not to do anything so stupid at the prison that would get us incarcerated.
I looked around at my classmates. No one was budging. “OK. Fine. I’ll go”.
We walked into the front lobby, which was not marked by your typical “welcome” décor. We quickly assembled ourselves into one long line to go through what was strangely similar to airport security, uncomfortable pat downs included.
The assistant to the warden, Amandia Callen, entered the lobby. She took five of us who had already gone through security to meet the inmates. Right before we entered the room, the she gave us one last reminder; “These women might try to manipulate you… so be careful”. Images of Crazy Eyes stalking Piper from “Orange Is the New Black” instantly ran through my mind.
“If someone calls me Dandelion, I’m out,” I thought to myself. But there was no turning back at this point—I mean, I already went through security and I literally was not allowed to leave.
But I almost instantly realized that there wasn’t much of a reason to be nervous. The women were so enthusiastic to have us; however, I could tell that even behind their big, welcoming smiles, they felt just as awkward as we did.
All 15 OU students and 15 inmates gathered around in the visitor’s center. Dr. Sharp had us sit every other chair with “inside students” next to “outside students”. For about 15 minutes, it was awkward as hell.
Icebreakers—I never saw the point of those cheesy get-to-know-you games because they tend to be pretty unproductive. Everyone kind of sighed in discontent as we learned we were going to spend some one-on-one time with each other. Just being referred to as “inside students” and “outside students” was uncomfortable enough.
The outside students (or OU students) made a small circle facing outward toward the inside students (or inmates). Dr. Sharp would ask a question and the inmates would rotate a seat to their right every couple of minutes.
There were several inmates who really stood out to me, all for various reasons. I kept thinking about how nice the women were, and how normal they seemed to be. At one point, we were asked the question, “What do you love most about yourself and why?”
The inmate who I was paired with gave me a blank stare. I think I said something along the lines of: “Umm… I think I’m pretty funny. Having a sense of humor is important in life because, well, sometimes life is just stupid and you have to laugh about it”. The inmate gave me a big smile and seemed to be a little more at ease. “Yeah, having a sense of humor around here is really important. I would never make it through each day without one”, she said.
We were also asked to tell each other what the first thing we notice about other people was.
“Well…I always like a guy with a nice smile”, I awkwardly said. She laughed and replied, “I mean, I always notice what kind of shoes people are wearing. Everyone is wearing such cute shoes. I miss that”.
I didn’t know how to respond that. I knew that I too would miss being able to wear whatever I wanted to.
After the icebreaker, we were placed groups, or what would be our “families” for the rest of the semester. Each week, we are given a different scenario that real, local families are dealing with. In our groups, we talk about the financial hardships that the family is going through, plan out a budget and find real-life, applicable solutions for the family and households described in the scenario.
The Inside/Out program is not focused on the inmates and their criminal records. Instead, the course offers prisoners (and students) a way to understand and improve society. The majority of inmates involved in the program are college students themselves, taking courses online and through electronic lectures.
Leaving the facility for the first time was a strange experience. The inmates went back to their cells and I of course went back to my normal life, feeling nothing but grateful.
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